Explosive Chocolate
by RegalFace
Summary: Three girls, lots of chocolate, Hogwarts, and lots of explosions. Oh and lots of Cho-Chang bashing! T for slight violence and language.  Co- written with Chocolateluver1 and umm...
1. Detention, Chocolate, and ChoChang

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter (if we did Cho-Chang would be dead!)or Death Note

Rin1782: Woot! Published! So I'm Coni

Chocolateluver1: Hiya, I'm Keely-waves-

Rin1782: She's not a witch F.Y.I. She just snuck in. I am a Full-blood Ravenclaw. Keely get away from the Pudding that's for your cousin!

Chocolateluver1:- drops pudding cup- Darn! Yup i snuck in with all my sneaky skills.

Rin1782: So heres what we do to Harry Potter. F.Y.I. I love H.P. it's my life.

Chocolateluver1: can I go back to Wammys house yet? Its better anyway...

Rin1782: Don't ask and enjoy!

Chocolateluver1: yup! yup!

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Coni sat on her broom desperately chanting up...up...up...in her head. She was never a good flier. she suddenly busted into the air screaming "let me down! Let me down!" Losing control her broom went through a window on the third floor. Professor Flitwick was under her..." Hey..um so whats going on?"  
"5 days detention!"  
"Shoot..." Coni says as her head droops she picks ip her broom and walks away

Her detention was in the dungeons where a drunken Filch would be waiting,with a cactus. Keely, who happened to be down there for the 6th time this week( for blowing things up of course) was attempting to outrun the charmed cactus and wait for her friend. Coni ran to a corner where she pulled out her quill and some paper. She continually wrote "I must learn to fly" as opposed to actually doing the task.

Keely was still running from the randomly charmed cactus. She stopped for a minute to catch her breath and speak with her friend. " I NEVER thought you would be down here! What are you in for?"She asked Coni and started to run again with a quickened haste as the cactus took a swipe at her legs. Coni looked up "I smashed Flitwick with a broom What about you?" She said as she whipped her wand around in an impressive movement that caused the cactus to go even faster.  
"That's for stealing my owl to get dungbombs." She said rather loudly so filch came and started chasing Keely along with the speedy cactus. Keely glared at her laughing friend and yelled " Well I set the teachers lounge on fire and it exploded. And i did NOT steal your owl! I used my own thank you very much!"

Keely continued to sprint for a moment only to stop and pull out a match book. " Do you like fire?" she asked the cactus with a grin and tossed the lit match at the now fleeing cactus. It burst into flames. Keely turned to filch and gave him a glare that would make any grown man cry and promptly left the room with a huff.

Coni hurried after her. Putting her stuff away as she walked to the kitchen after Keely. Keely walked over to Dobby and yelled " Wheres the chocolate stash?" Dobby ran over to a wall and pressed a brick which slid in making the wall spring open. Mounds of chocolate sat in piles. Keely grinned and began to shovel it in to a bag.

After about 5 minutes of shoveling the candy into the bag she looked over at Dobby and yelled " Oi! Put the candy in the bag son!" while taking out a gun and pointing it at him. Dobby nodded and began to shove the chocolates in quickly.

"Where did you get the gun from?" asked Coni who was sitting on a counter. " A friend of mine..." Keely said and grinned.

"Who would that be? Mello? That would explain the chocolate. " asked Coni hopping of the counter. Keely grabbed her bag which was now full and walked out, Coni close behind.

They walked over to the Whomping willow and sat down. The tree never seemed to attack them,at least when Keely was around. Perhaps it was because She acted quiet similar at times when she was angry which was not a pretty sight to behold.

Keely grabbed a bar of chocolate and bit into it with a sharp snap. The two sat there for about a half and hour when non other than Ron walked over to the two. Narrowly missing the Whomping Willows branches he glanced at Keely and then the bag of chocolates.

" Can I have one?" he asked hopefully. " Hmm let me think, nope!" she said and stood up in front of bag " But you can have a GRENADE!" Keely stood up, grabbing her chocolates and tossed a grenade at Ron and walked away. Coni followed quickly behind missing the explosion by 5 feet.

" Ah he'll live. Now I think I hurt my elbow in that crash. Stupid Flitwick, just HAD to be in my way." said Coni .

They walked the rest or the way to the dining hall. They sat down next to their bookworm friend Olivia. She didn't acknowledge them sitting down because she was too enthralled in her Star Wars book. She was muggle-born. Nearby was a sobbing Cho-Chang. After about four 10-pound chocolate bars Keely stabbed her knife into her current chocolate bar, "_This_", She said pointing at Cho-Chang,"_Is ruining CHOCOLATE time!"_ Keely said in white hot rage.

"Ah Keely...for you...um...chocolate time is well..every time. You eat it when you sleep. It's really quite disturbing." Blindly ignoring Coni she stood up and pounded her fist on the table and Dobby waving the Japenesse flag behind her.

"This means war!" she shrieked and stomped over to Cho Keely smiled and tapped Cho's shoulder. Cho turned around only to be slapped _hard_ across the face by a glaring Keely. " SHUT THE HELL UP! I'm trying to eat, but I can't with your constant sobbing about stupid Cedric! He's dead and isn't going to come back!" Keely said and gave her one last slap and stalked off to her seat.

Coni merely smiled and walked over to Cho. She figured Keely was bound to end up in detention and would rather join her instead of sitting alone. Coni quickly grabbed the back of Cho's hair and pushed her as hard as she could, sending Cho's face right in to her very hot soup. She walked back over to Keely who was earing yet _another_ chocolate bar.

" Hmm...5...4...3...2...1" Said Keely ending right as Flitwick walked over and gave them both detention. " I'm surprised that you would have done something, so...so...Keely-ish" he said frowning " Keely...just...usual time in the dungeons as always." He walked off to the staff table and both girls smiled.

" I'll be in the Library." said Olivia, speaking for the first time all evening. " Yes we know Ollie" said Keely smiling. " Well night everyone" Keely yawned and walked off to the Ravenclaw tower.

"Night." Coni replied as she actually did her her homework. Finishing up she went to bed.

(Just a little extra for you guys)

-2 days earlier-

-Olivia's P.O.V.  
After spending months studying and combining spells, Olivia was about to achieve her life goal: breaking into the teacher's lounge. Olivia had finally broken the maximum-level security codes using magical spells and muggle world slicing techniques. See, the lounge was one of the few sources in the world where one could get the Best Doughnuts Ever. These doughnuts were well guarded and not made available to the wizard public because they were highly flammable. They would immediately explode on contact with high-heat.

Olivia had taken one bite of a doughnut, and was in utter bliss, when she saw a match tossed under the door. This was the end. There was only one student who could have done this. "Darn you, Keely Richardson." And after that, the whole place went up in flames.

-Keely's P.O.V.-

The doughnuts. Those highly flammable doughnuts. Just the fuel Keely needed to be able to set the teachers lounge ablaze. Did she know that they would explode? No. Did she know that her friend was craving one? Yes. The perfect prank, Olivia would be doughnut less and the teachers lounge would be up in flames. If only Hermione had not seen her toss the match under the door then she would have gotten away with it too...


	2. Fire, Lawyers, and Umbridge

Disclaimer:We do not own Harry Potter Or Death Note or Chips A-Hoy

Rin1782: That seems to be a reoccurring thing...you Death Note

Chocolateluver1: Well its Better, duh .

Rin1782:Wow how could you say that B.T.W. Our friend Olivia wrote the first part of the doughnut story Keely did the other part. ^_^ I go lawyer on Umbridge!

Chocolateluver1: And I set some things on fire too. So enjoy the story!

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-In the room of requirement-

"Dude, this is 1st year junk" Coni complained to Keely's ,"Wait, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing much. The usual. You know eat, chocolate" pulls out bar, "oh and blowing things up you know the usual.

Harry walked over and said, "Let me see what you've done." Harry said acting all high and mighty.

"Fine.", Coni said with a scoff. She stood up and said, "Stupify!" Knocking Harry down. After he woke up he looked at Keely quizzically.

Keely wasn't phased because she was in a chocolate trance. " What about you?" Keely looked up with (gasp) chocolate in her mouth and pointed at herself.

"Me?", she said after gulping down her chocolate. Harry nodded. " I'm Keely Richardson, Coni's friend. You probably don't know since I'm not a witch." Keely said taking out yet another chocolate bar and unwrapping it. Harry stared at her with his mouth open. " Then how? Why are you here?" he asked shocked. " Well I followed Coni onto the train,and I have no where else to go since Mello kicked me out of the house, while he and Matt try to fix damages I caused. The Hypocrite!"

Harry responded, "Oh well. Um Coni... she's gotta go..."

"Now harry how could you. First of all, your an incompetent teacher. I mean really Stupify. That's so simple. Second, You don't want to mess with her. You see, let me put this in simple words, she likes Boom-Booms that make you go bye-bye." Coni responded sourly, "Oh and she has multiple loaded guns, extra amo, and lots of grenades." Keely smiled sweetly and waved.

"I gotta go" Harry said and scurried off. Coni pulled out her a nail file and filed her nails.

"What a nuisance. I mean really what nerve to confront me. I am known for my payback so what should I do to him?"

" Oh your being so mean! I like it!" Keely said and smiled " Well I'm off to go get into trouble!" Coni nodded and said " Okay, I'll see you in detention later :)" Keely walked off stopping by Harry and promptly slapped him across the face and skipped out of the room.

Keely smirked as she snuck into the Griffindor common room. She had followed Neville and heard the password. " Potatoes!" she said and grinned as the painting of the fat lady swung open. Keely stalked off into the boys room and struck a match. Tossing it on Harry s bed and pouring cheese sauce all over his homework and clothes. " That's what you get for being mean and kicking me out...Don't mess with a Pyro!" She mumbled and quickly left the room and began to eat a chocolate bar.

-At Detention-

"Now I need all of these," Snape dumped a pile of papers on the ground at their feet, "Filed."

"Well it would have been eaisier if you would have left them in the box. See now we have to bend down to get a sheet that would throw our backs out. That's child abuse!" Coni said standing up. "I refuse to do such a thing. My parents gave no such permission. I need a lawyer." Coni said then stormed out of the room.(Beat that)

Keely glared at Snape making him slightly uncomfortable. She got up with a sigh and said " Okay Snape, we can do this two ways. The easy way which involves me leaving and you doing _your job_. Or I can set your office on fire. You choose" Snape looked at her with that same uneasy feeling. He found that this really was a _ horrible_ job and would rather be sleeping. He nodded once and Keely stalked off to find her friend, unwrapping a chocolate bar as she went.

Of all the people to run into it had to be Umbridge. She was stalking the halls like hunter in the woods, making all the younger 1st and 2nd years cringe when she would gaze at them. Her beady eyes wandered until she spotted two 5th year girls sitting on a stone bench in the almost empty hall. They must have ditched class and where in need of punishment. If only she knew who she was dealing with.

Coni was in lawyer mode and Keely was never good to come across when she was in one of her 'moods'. Though Umbridge being completely clueless walked over to the girls and cleared her throat with a " Hem hem". They looked up at the toad-like woman and sighed. " Why are you out of class?" asked Umbridge with a menacing grin. Though Keely flashed her a glare which made her take a step back.

" I'm not one of _you_" Keely said and walked a way with a huff while unwrapping a chocolate bar. Though she was almost out of sight the _crack_ from the candy could be heard in the now deserted halls.

" And you what's your excuse for not being at your class?"Umbridge asked after getting over the gusto of Keely. Coni went to respond,but then was interrupted "I don't care I'll see you in detention."

"How rude!You ask me a question then you interrupt me. Hump! You'll see me in detention alright. But, you'll regret it! Oh how you'll regret it!" Coni left the dumbstruck Umbridge speechless.

- At detention...Again -

"Sit down" Umbridge said without looking up from her work.

"How nice don't greet me. I was going to turn off lawyer mode but now your on sister. Bring it.", Coni said and sat down.

"Write lines.", Umbridge told her handing her a quill."I will not skip class." Coni took the quill and started to write. She felt a sharp pain in her wrist she turned it over to see the words etched into her skin.

"I thought it was suspicious when you handed me your own quill but this" Coni said lifting up her hand," Is criminal! Start packing sister!" With that she trudged out of the room. Heading to the Ravenclaw dorm. "Hey ,you missed it. I went all lawyer on Umbridge she is going down! I'm heading to Dumbledor's office now wanna come?"

Keely,who was sitting in an arm chair eating just chocolate smores, nodded and stood up. " Might as well, it sucks I missed you yell at Umbridge. At least you can stick up for yourself when I leave now." She added and followed the red head out, dropping a match in a random kids pocket as they went.

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Chocolateluver1: Don't forget to leave comments and Ideas! And I will take any chocolate donations!

Rin1782: Next we prosecute Umbridge. If you review you get Chips A-Hoy. Yummy!


	3. Lawyers, Descriptions, and Livi!

I am all by my lonesome so I'll be the only one in he authors notes...

SO SORRY I AM SOOOO SORRY... (I sound like Ritsu from Fruits Basket...) Yeah I was too lazy to type this then Livi and Keely had to edit and then I had to combine all the copies... Well we will get better! So enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I Do not own Harry Potter...or Fruits Basket...or Man...or Star Wars...or anything else referred and I did not get the hint or missed...

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"Fizzing Wizbees!", Coni exclaimed loudly. After the Gargoyles moved she trudged up the stairs, with Keely close behind chomping on chocolate the whole time. Reaching the door she took a deep breath and put her serious face on. Ready, she dramatically pushed the door open. Much to her enjoyment Umbridge was standing in the room talking to Dumbledore .

"Hem. Hem,", Coni coughed imitating the displeasing person in the room. Standing so near her almost making her cringe. Although she was quite loud they didn't seem to notice her flamboyant entrance.

"Oi! We are talking to you people", Keely said as she disrespectfully took one of her many candy bar wrappers crumpling it in a ball, and then throwing at the old wizards hat. After regaining his composure and hat-which had flown across the room- Dumbledoor look at us .

Umbridge, first to speak, pointed a pudgy finger at us and exclaimed, "See look at this blunt disrespect! Exactly what I was talking about!"

Insulted, a scowl invaded Coni's otherwise emotionless face. "Me? Disrespect you!" She scoffed "You're the one who is having me write lines that dig in to my skin!" Coni almost shouted, 'Cool it! You can't let emotions get in the way of this! Stay emotionless…' She thought to herself. "I am disgusted by this abomination of a teacher! I'd rather have General Cross ( I had to! If you don't know he's from Man…) She must be prosecuted! Now!"

Coni was now in full lawyer mode. Her was in a tight bun and she was in a professional looking black and white suit. A chart appeared next to her on a nice wooden easel and she had reading glasses on the tip of her nose. With a flourish her wand, it extend into a pointer. (OMG I actually referenced Magic!)

Meanwhile, Olivia was now in the office and Keely had a popcorn bucket full of chocolate and she was eating it by the handful. Olivia was simply reading her current book, _Star wars: Traitor_ with three other novels on her lap_. _"Here we go!" Keely exclaimed with a squeal. She loved when Coni went Lawyer it was like a good movie that you could watch time and time again. Olivia was dragged along by the overly excited Keely. She wasn't a buzz kill. She just really wanted to finish her book. "Come on Coni!" She screamed with an vivacious WOOT!

"When I entered this fine school," She points to a picture of Hogwarts on her easel "My parents did not give any permission for physical punishments. Also," She said pulling out a book from no where Labeled, _Advanced Law for Wizards: School Volume I _, " According to this book, that has the official stamp of the Ministry of Magic," turning the book over to show said stamp, "it says in Page 226, Section 4, Paragraph 8, Line 7", Coni continued handing them the book on the correct page so that they could see the proof, "The said teacher must be sent to the wizarding prison Azkaban! I have sent a letter to the Department Of Magical Law Enforcement. They will be here momentarily."

" Ahhh! B-b-b-but she can't I'm the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic! I wont be taken away so easily!" The fire in the corner of the room exploded green flames. After a long interrogation they took an Umbridge that was throwing a child-like tantrum away.

"Shut It!", Keely said lazily before they entered the fire and promptly slapped Umbridge across the face leaving a chocolate handprint on her cheek. Umbridge's eyes widened in shock. "No one cares about a hag like you!" with that she spat brown spit at the appalled woman. Turning back to her 5th popcorn tub of chocolate, Keely sighed "A job well done."

With that all of Coni's lawyer aspects disappeared and she was back in her usual uniform. It was an unusual uniform for others. It just meant that she was special and went lawyer to get her own version of the uniform that she liked better. It was a short sleeved white blouse with a blue vest with a matching blue tie that was underneath the vest but, above the shirt. She wore a mini-skirt that was dark blue with lace on the bottom and nylons underneath. Her auburn hair was in loose twin braids at the side of her head. The reading glasses she had on were replaced with big circular ones which covered her dazzling green eyes.

"I did what Harry couldn't in less than an hour. Wow! I feel really good!", Coni said and Olivia looked up from her book.

"Good job! " Olivia stated nonchalantly. It wasn't that Olivia didn't care, but her book was sad: ergo so was she. Olivia's unruly brown curls danced about her face as she swiftly scooped up a more upbeat novel, _Star Wars: Outcast._ She smiled as she could now really congratulate her friend. "Oh my Skywalker, that was kriffimg lubed, Coni! You were as cool and collected as Jocasta Nu in there! You could totally oust Jacen Solo from a COS with a coup, legal or nr. OMS we need to go to the Star Wars galaxy sometime.", Olivia had to pause to take a breath and she saw the confused expression on her friends faces. She knew her Star Wars references and slang had stumped Coni and Keely, but she didn't bother to translate. They generally knew that she meant 'Congrats, you did well' but in more enthusiastic terms.

The three continued through the hallways after the fiasco in the headmasters office. They walked pass Malfoy who waved at the sight of Keely. Keely didn't quite know why he liked her. Was it because he actually liked her or was it pure fear that caused him to be nice to her? Whatever it was she got a look that popped on her face too often to be good. She was plotting.

"What are you planning?", Coni said knowing that face all to well and started to hold one of her braids remembering the time Keely cut one off after sedating her with a blow dart for accidentally eating for chocolate bar. She had to wear extensions for two years until it grew back.

Keely lazily leaned against a random wall in her "uniform" since she didn't actually go to the school she wore whatever the hell she wanted. She decided she should at least be consistent so she always wore her tradmark Lolita clothes: A white frilly blouse under a light blue and yellow lacy Jumper skirt. The skirt part of the dress was always poofed up from her many petticoats and she wore white Mary Jane's over white knee high socks with yellow ribbons. Her black anime like knee length hair was either down or in pig tails. Bangs almost reaching her purple eyes -red when angry which was just about all the time.

With a grin spread from eye to eye she simply said, "I'm a gonna dye his hair pink!" Her eyes alight with delight.

"How?" Coni asked as if she was asking what the weather was like but, the grip on her braid got tighter. Then forgetting her unanswered question. "OMG! I'll do it to Harry that git…" she started muttering incoherently "and then they'll match! Potions will be hil-ar-I-ous!" She exclaimed pronouncing hilarious as four different words.

"Good! That'll be my going away present to this school.", Keely replied while walking ahead trying to hide her frowning face from her two friends. Coni and Olivia stopped in their tracks eyes widened with shock and mouths agape as Keely sped around the corner..

* * *

Ah's! A cliffie in a crack fi! Is that possible? I suppose so... Next time Livi and I hug *Muffled noises*

(Me talking for Livi) Baka! Don't tell them!

(Livi, Keely, and I Singing poorly) REVIEW-


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